If you are anything like the 99.9% rest of the human population chances are that you have made a mistake and have tried recovering from it. There is absolutely nothing worse than that feeling of having done something wrong, or to have disappointed yourself or someone in some way or the other and having to make sense of it. This is usually accompanied by that ‘lovely’ feeling of self-pity followed by self-hatred and then topped with a little sprinkle of low self esteem caused by breaking yourself down and running the whole scenario over and over in your mind. Does that about sum it up?
The good news is you, (like 99.9% of the rest of the population) are only human, yes, you have heard this a million times before and it doesn’t necessarily make it better. The truth is we are all here to learn and making mistakes is part of life. I believe that we are all super-human beings (my believe is Christianity) but what ever you choose to believe, we are being sculptured into being the best YOU you can possibly be by your universe. This unfortunately doesn’t happen over night and throughout your life, from falling as a toddler to learn to walk properly, to hurting your loved ones to learn to love properly and everything in between is part of the sculpting process.
To learn how to recovering positively from a mistake you have to take a step back and look at what it is that you can learn from it. This attitude immediately gives you a positive mental attitude that will prevent you from starting the downwards spiral of beating yourself up. Some mistakes may vary in severity according to our beliefs but the lesson will always stay the same. There are obviously many life lessons that needs to be learned but just to use one as an example;
Eg: You may find yourself waking up next to someone you met at a nightclub after a drunken night out with the girls and you have no clue what happened. (severe)
You might eat a whole slap of chocolate after you have only been on your diet two days. (not severe)
The lesson here would be learning to have self control (to say no thank you). Even though the above mentioned examples vary in result, the lesson stays the same. The bottom line is until you are able to learn from it, situations will arise every time to teach and to sculpt you until you get it right so THINK and LEARN.
Have you ever looked at yourself and heard a little voice in your head going; “You know, if you didn’t eat so much chocolate in winter-time you wouldn’t of had those muffin tops poking over your jeans” this is the same little voice that spend hours in your mind, breaking you down, making mountains out of mole heaps, and driving you to absolute insanity. (not talking about your mother in law). We sometimes look at a mistake that we have made out of our own perspective, especially if it has just happened. If you take a step back and quite the voices in our head you are often able to look at the situation on a “lighter” side. You can choose your own feelings and attitude towards situations in life. Control your thoughts and replace the negative thoughts by reminding yourself that you are a work in progress and this is a great thing that happened because you are learning to be better, for yourself and for others. Also remember, our mistakes as big as they may seem is merely a bump in the road and there are always people that are much worse off than you.
Hold yourself accountable for what you have done. Never blame others and try and make excuses if you have made a mistake. There is nothing more liberating then to say, YES it was me (even if it to yourself and there was no one else involved). Own up, because every time you pass the buck and blame someone else for your mistakes (even if you really do believe it was them) you are telling yourself “you are not in control of this situation”. Take responsibly for your actions, this is a great attribute to have and will gain you self-respect and the respect of others in the long run. This also places you in th driver seat because the more you are not in control of your actions the less likely you will be to try and be a better person (because you will believe this is not your fault) and you will keep making the same mistake over again. There is absolutely nothing worse than cheating yourself by always passing the blame to someone else, every time you do that you break a piece of yourself off and this severely hinders your growth process.
Forgive yourself. Don’t condemn yourself after making a mistake, there is enough people out there that will do it for you, you don’t have to do it to yourself. You must remember that at the end of the day you should be your own best friend and love yourself unconditionally because you will be around yourself for a very long time. Resentment is one poisonous emotion and there should not be any room in your life for it no, good ever comes from it. Look at yourself in the mirror and say “I love you and I forgive you”. You will find that the more you are able to forgive yourself the more you will be forgiven in return and the more you will be able to forgive other as well. What goes hand in hand with this step is apology. If there is someone else involved never be too ashamed and proud to say sorry. You owe it to yourself to be free of the mistake you have made.
Pick your chin up and move forward. No matter what happens in life, it is a fast moving entity and as special as you are, it is not going to wait for you. The more time you spend trying to pick up the pieces of your mistake (being very melodramatic) the less time your are spending moving forward and enjoying life. When you fall you need to stand up because at the end of the day its not how many times you fall, but how many times you get up that makes you successful and forms you in to your perfect YOU.